Wait Your Turn

There are values we admire in others; honesty, strength, intelligence or confidence. Yet, patience is a trait which is often overlooked or discarded. Patience can be mistaken for a lack of urgency or even laziness. I was thinking about how it trickles down into all aspects of life, not just waiting an extra 5 minutes at Baker Street.

“What cannot be quite cured, is made easier by patience” - Horace, Odes 1.24 ("To Virgil on the Death of Quintilius")

The other day, I sat in a humid carriage that was stopped at a red signal. The driver spoke awkwardly through the radio and explained that we had been stopped as a toddler had gone missing in the next station and so no trains could pass through. I looked around at the sea of irritated faces, tutting and cursing. I felt sad, I thought of the baby’s mother and how scary that situation would be. Then I felt angered by the lack of empathy or patience shown by the general public, how would you feel if it was your child? I’m sure an extra 45 seconds on the overground won’t kill you.

This got me thinking….

Remember that jarring phrase your dad would say to you as you were waiting for your turn on the swings.

“Patience is a virtue”

I’d never thought I’d be agreeing, however as I get older and meet more people I realise patience is a very rare thing! 

Not only in your manner, but also in the way you view your career or your relationships. Patience is demonised as a lack of ambition or self respect. You should send a follow up email exactly 5 minutes after the call. You should block them if they don’t text you after 2 hours. You should jump the queue. You should complain if the food takes more than 10 minutes.

To survive in 2026, especially in London, you have to be fast-paced. After all, it’s every man for themselves…..

I’ve been trying very hard to challenge this mindset in my own life which is quite difficult. Especially in your early 20’s, it really seems as though young people are hitting milestones that would previously occur in your mid 30’s. It is so confusing, as not only is it a transitional period but every single person is at a completely different stage of the cycle. Some of my best friends are in Australia, some back home in Scotland, some working in finance and others living at home. Some have some mysterious income that allows them to remain unemployed while going to 25 festivals a year. 

When I first moved to London I jumped straight into a job that I didn’t enjoy purely because I felt that was what I should be doing. When it didn’t work out I was mortified and also very confused. What happens when the thing you want to do turns out to be something you don’t enjoy?

So how does patience come into it? 

Around a month ago, a barrister came for dinner at my work. A fairly stern and serious older man, we chatted away and he started to soften slightly once he realised I was allowing him to talk entirely about himself. Once you learn that people really only want to be asked questions, life gets a whole lot easier.

He swivelled in his chair and stared at me quizzically, glancing across my face with a pitiful expression.

“Why are you wasting your life doing something like this?”

I was taken aback and swallowed to stop the lump rising in my throat. I don’t think the man meant to be insulting however it felt like someone had given me a chinese burn. If anything, I think he probably thought he was giving me a compliment, informing me that I was worthy of “true success” in his eyes.

As a self- professed massive people pleaser, I worked up all my courage to try and defend myself even a little. I explained that I didn’t feel at all that I was wasting my life, I enjoyed my job and it was my decision rather than a lack of opportunity. He wasn’t convinced, raising a disgruntled eyebrow and turning back to sip his Negroni. He gave me a £5 sympathy tip.

Sir, you shouldn’t have….

The following days were spent opening LinkedIn and then crying, and then signing myself up for the Army only to realise they don’t let you wear mascara and immediately retracting my application.

I sat myself down and said that I wasn’t going to panic and get myself into another situation where I accidentally get a job that I hate. I was going to slow down and wait, things always work out and pop up when you least expect it.

So that is where we are now.

Although easier said than done, I am trying to allow myself the time to find something that feels right for me. I’ve declined job offers purely off the basis that I know I’m only doing it to feel safe. Patience people, patience!

A friend of mine compared this sentiment to the serenity prayer chanted in AA meetings.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference."

Minus the religious aspect, you can still adhere this in your daily life. I think there’s something very special about not jumping into the wrong thing. It’s the easier option, I still have to pry my eyes away from the constant LinkedIn messages trying to get me into recruitment. I shall not give in!

So if you are feeling behind or anxious about the future, most people are in the same boat.

Allow yourself to take the time to decide and do something which you enjoy for now, it doesn’t need to be the final destination but if it brings you joy then that is good enough :)

Try to grant others empathy even when they don’t deserve it. Especially yourself!!