2025
2024 was a year of great change for me, I graduated and moved to a new country all alone. Not only did my location change but so did my mentality, last year I spent many hours pinpointing my emotions and learning more about myself and what brings me happiness. It takes real time and dedication to know yourself, a skill that we are not taught or encouraged to do.
My one true love; Alain De Botton, has dedicated his life to teaching others about their own minds and how to sit with their emotions. His message is so simple that it could be taken as being patronising even though his intentions are the exact opposite. He prompts people to think about how they live their life, he describes how surreal it is that we are just expected to know how to treat and love others without any prior navigation. We are expected to know how to regulate our emotions and read the minds of others, a nearly impossible task.
De Botton places emphasis on empathy and forgiveness. By putting yourself into the shoes of those who have treated you badly you can begin to understand that cruelty comes from a place of hurt and very few people have genuine ill-intentions. Of course, this is easier said than done….
However, I feel like a completely different person since beginning to think this way. I want 2025 to be a year of more positive self-discovery and I plan to be surrounded by the people that make me feel content because they love me and I love them, I also vow to delete Hinge for the 50th time.
Some things never change.
Anyway, here are some lessons I learnt in 2024 which I feel have improved my life and my outlook :)
Allow yourself the time
I was rushing through the airport in a panic, the strap of my bag was digging into my shoulder and my suitcase kept spinning on its wheel and getting caught on the escalator barriers. My headphones were tangled and I was trying to get my gum out of my bag all while feeling mildly faint from the heat. I stopped mid-rummage and thought to myself; What am I doing? I had nowhere to be at a specific time, I wasn’t meeting anybody, I had already got off my flight and it was a Saturday. I realised that a lot of the anxiety I brought myself was truly pointless. I was so used to living a life of constant stress that I didn’t know how to do basic activities unless fuelled by sheer panic. After my airport epiphany, I began to implement little changes into my daily routine to try and take life a bit more slowly.
If I’m working then I’ll set my alarm 30/45 minutes earlier than I need to. This is the last thing anyone ever wants to hear but it has made a huge difference to me. The first thing I do when I wake up is light a candle, drink some water and I just sit up in bed and stare out the window for a couple of minutes. These extra minutes of silence mean that I can get ready super slowly and not start the day feeling rushed. I also find that candlelight adjusts my eyes to the light better. Medieval-core.
Always arrive early. Besides the fact that I have undying hatred towards people who are always late (you know who you are)….. I also think it eliminates so much unnecessary stress if you plan to be early rather than late.
I began walking with no end destination in mind, just walk until you don’t want to anymore. It’s unusually difficult to do this without planning a route but feels nice to do something just for the sake of it.
2. Be present in anger
Everyone can be annoying, rude or thoughtless. Nobody is immune from the people around them behaving badly, we are guilty of it ourselves. It is so tempting to type out an endless paragraph about how much somebody has hurt your feelings or block them on everything and re-enact an argument to yourself in the shower.
It takes a lot more strength to sit in the emotion and not act upon it. It means that you don’t say something you will later regret and the other person can’t use it against you. Put this into the perspective of when someone doesn’t reply to your texts. It is so infuriating that no matter what you do you cannot reach them. This is the real-life equivalent, when someone is desperate for a reaction just don’t give them one.
3. Be surrounded by reminders
Your early 20's are filled with changes of scenery. Subletting a room for 2 months or moving back in to the family home. One of the easiest ways to feel more at ease with the constant newness is to bring reminders and tokens of the things or people you value in your life. Keep birthday cards, train tickets in a foreign language and seashells from your favourite summer. I like to be able to point at everything on my desk and tell the story behind the object and why I like it. I keep significant trinkets on my bedside table so that when I wake up it is the first thing I see.
4. Watch less true crime?
I’ve always been obsessed with true crime documentaries and would watch multiple every week. My mum used to say that this was creepy of me and now I’m thinking that she might have been right. I thought that watching these programs would teach me how to keep myself safe and I found it interesting, instead it just made me feel like I was going to get kidnapped and murdered at any point. Sometimes I will still treat myself to a cheeky crime documentary if I’m feeling naughty but overall I think it’s unhealthy to be repeatedly reminding yourself of the most depraved parts of society. I started looking over my shoulder when I was buying a smoothie from Sainsbury’s, nobody is trying to murder you its 11am on a Thursday.
5. Podcasts are the secret
Listening to podcasts has really positively impacted my life, all hyperactive people will understand how difficult it can be to complete mundane, daily tasks when your brain is so busy. I listen to podcasts every day and it allows me to do everything I need to while still keeping my mind stimulated. I have also learned so much through podcasts, it feels like a cheat code to be educating yourself while completing a different task. I normally hyper fixate on one specific podcast and then just listen to it for weeks until I can’t stand the sound of their voice anymore but here are some of my favourite ones which I never get bored of:
6. Adapt the content you consume
Remember that it’s YOUR phone and you can choose what you want to see.
* Not you Alexa xoxox
I’d spent years following these ultra-thin, blonde, tanned It-girls, bitterly scrolling past their posts while I eat my breakfast. Seems really healthy to look at unrealistic standards first thing in the morning, don’t you think? Then one day I just unfollowed them all.
Now the only ‘influencer’ types I interact with are girls who have fun personalities or a unique style which I like, I no longer look at their content with envy but with inspiration. Be kind to yourself and eliminate all unnecessary negative energy, especially in this era of influencers promoting worrying body images.
7. Stop Doom Scrolling
Or try to….
Phone addiction is very real and I am currently also an addict. Great.
TikTok is (apparently) getting banned in the US and I hope it also gets banned here. I need this app to be unwillingly prised from my hands seeing as I clearly have no willpower. In 2025, I am trying to read my book instead of endlessly scrolling. Famous last words.
